Not a Male Hater

Yesterday I met a not so close friend; let’s call her Nunu in a coffee shop. She came along with her cousin(male), who was a bada wala fevecol ka dabba, was not at all ready to leave us gals alone( no need to get those ideas). Nunu's phone rang and she went out to talk leaving me with that cousin. I saw a familiar face sitting at opposite table; yes we were in University together. He walked to my table and joined us. I could see that look on his face “what the hell she is doing with a male species”. His strained face was somewhat relieved when Nunu came back and I introduced her as my friend.

That guy had a crush kind of thing on me when we were in graduation. Not only me, he used to try his luck on all the girls of our group. We were a gang of four mean girls and never gave him a damn. In fact we never cared much about any guy. We would sit in the parking lot between the classes (actually all the time) and have blast and really enjoy those looks on people's face and also comments like “ Kuch gadbad hai”. But no, we were (are) straight as arrow and two girls were even engaged (with male of course).

I used to envy those good looking chicks (See I am being honest here) who were always surrounded by guys whom they used to call their “friends”.But actually they were no less than their domestic servants. From pick and drop service to cash payment, those chick would enjoy all the facilities. Unfortunately, I am not a looker so I never had such kind of “friends”. I was friends with a guy in University, in fact we were really good friends. But it didn’t last long, he had a notion that I had fallen for him and he would tell his friends “see she likes me, I don’t, she is just a friend” and since then we became Jaani dushamn.

Moron, it still makes my blood boil, how can I ever fall for such a chirkut like him. And hence formed our all girls gang. He was not the only guy I fought with, there was this guy I met on orkut who was from my city only; I am enemies with him as well. It was not that “liking” thing this time, just the clash of ideas.

Couple of weeks back an online friend (male) asked “how many guys you talk to”. He couldn't believe when I said none, which is actually true. The only guy I am close to is Daniel, my Rakhi brother. If you look at my orkut profile ( I don’t use facebook), out of 48 friends, there are only 8 guys and rest are females. It’s not that I am paranoid about opposite sex; I did have a real full time boy friend. But still somehow I am more comfortable with females. No I never studied in all girls’ school; I went to co-ed school from the very beginning. I was a lonesome kind of child back in school ,forget guys, I didn't have even female friends.

Whatever it is, I am really very happy with my girlies. I am not rude to guys but when it comes to being friends ,I like girls better.

And yes Nunu’s cousin is asking for my number, lol.

Do read NOTEBOOK

Noah and Ally met each other when they were in college and then they fell in love. But rich girl's parents didn’t want their daughter to marry this poor guy, hence they parted .The girl got engaged elsewhere and guy still lived in a hope. And yes she did come back, after fourteen years, the guy who was she engaged with was really kind enough to let her go and they lived happily. Sounds very Bollywood?

See this, all was well, the couple was blessed with lovely children and grandchildren. They were still very much in love while growing old together. But suddenly Ally got Alzheimer and things started vanishing from her mind. Ally and Noah shifted to some old age care centre then. Noah also got those old age diseases like arthritis etc but all he thought about as Ally. He would read her their story from his notebook every day.

Sometimes she would recognize him and relive those moments sometimes she would scream and shout and ask him to leave. Doctors were surprised as her case was not a typical Alzheimer as she was not as violent as other patients. It was Noah’s love that kept that kept her going

The book definitely talks about eternal love and beauty of growing old with the one you love. As the author said “It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox." So true.

Notebook is the first ever novel written by the author in the year 1995. A film was also made on the novel later in 2004.

Jab they met!

Place- very same CCD

Time- Some time .

She was already there, reading a book while waiting.

Him- That’s how you meet me, with a book.

Her- Ya, hi, it’s so good to see you again after break up.

Him- Ya? Really?

Her- We are meeting as friends again.

Him- Hmmm, and you are good as a friend only.

Her- Accha? Why?

Him- Man, you were a weirdo. There were so many things I never liked about you. I hated your Mickey Mouse and tweety waale T shirts and don’t you ever comb your hair? So messy! And why do you keep giggling all the time, even when I am damn serious?

Her- Accha, that’s why you waited for my yes for some 7 months?

Him- Seven months and 9 days because you are hawwwwt.

Her- You know I hate that. I simply hate being called hot.

Him- See you hate being called hot, that's why I call you weirdo. Laughs. Leave it. What’s up with you? Your course will be end by May, what after that?

Her- Now that you are not my boyfriend anymore shall I say something?

Him- ya sure

Her- I hated the kind of music you liked and also the food. Always heavy north Indian vegetarian and those paneer curries.You know what was the first thing I did after break up? I went to KFC and ate as much as I could.

Him- Areyy, you always said you like that kind of music and also the food. And yes, it was so sweet of you to turn vegetarian for me, really.

Her- you were my boyfriend na. So just to make you happy. Laughs

Him- Sucha dramchi you are. Accha you know where I first saw you?

Her- At office, obviously

Him- No, here only. You were all alone reading Interpreter of Maladies and were looking cute in that yellow top. You know when you cried at MC D for me I just felt like holding you tight like I would never let you go.

Her- But you walked away leaving me that way.

Him- I had to. looks outside window

Silence

Her- I realized something.

Him- what?

Her- That I never loved you.

Him- I always knew that. Don’t know why I fell for you. You are really a weirdo, nobody can fall for you. But yes I do lust you. Just love your off shoulder tops and the scent of coconut oil still reminds me of you and really turns me on.

Her- Shut up you despo, you are engaged now. And yes I was coveted by many when I became your girlfriend.

Him- Laughs. But I was only man you ever had.

Her- That’s not true. Why would I tell you about my past affairs?

Him- laughs. If only you had one. Come on, I know who your friends are. Besides you have got world of your own, half of the time you are busy in that and then your stupid girlfriends. I hate them, specially that flatron

Her- Accha and I hate your friends too. Especially that jerk, I forgot his name. And yes, I had somebody in college, I told you about him.

Him- You had a crush on him. I saw his orkut profile, he is a real chirkut. Baby, I was your first boyfriend, I am a man I can tell that.

Her- Accha, how come? I mean how come a man tell weather he is the first or second one in a woman’s life?

Him- You won’t understand.

Her- no, I really wanna know that.

Him- The way you were. I mean the way you talked and behaved and everything.

Her- Explain.

Him- Ok, I had a talk with that flatron and your other friends. The only guy you are close to is your Guitar waala bhai.

Her- And you believed them? Laughs

Him- Come on I know I was the only one.

Her- Yes ,you were the only one. looks down

Him-You were good yaar, I mean really good. None of my girlfriends ever shared bills. And you were never interested in gifts. No soft toys, no flowers, no chocolates. Wow, my fiancé is so demanding yaar.

Her- Wait a minute. I adore chocolates.

Him- Arey you never told me, I thought you are a coffee freak.

Her- I thought you knew that. See you don’t even know what I like what I don’t.

Him- You like Rajma chawal a lot. Shall I tell you something?

Her- ya

Him- You cook even better than my mom. Trust me, it’s a huge compliment, a guy saying you cook better than his mom, really.

Her- hmm, thank you, chal yaar , are you not getting late?

Him- ya chal yaar.

Near his car,

Her- Accha listen, My friend has got free fun passes, are you free tomorrow?

Him- Listen, this is it. We won’t meet again. I just can’t afford to fall for you one more time. Bye

Her- Bye.

There is something about Sonu Chacha !!

Every family has at least one funny and weird character in it, right? Someone whose each and every act makes you laugh till your cheeks hurt. Someone who does everything wrong, knowingly or unknowingly. Someone who would create scene everywhere they go. Someone ,other family members love to talk about and laugh till late night when they unite after ages on occasions like marriages or any other functions( even when that person is around).

However, I have got many such characters in my family but I would write about only one , Sonu Chacha. He is my dad’s aunt's son and just two or three years elder than me. When we met for the first time, the first thing I noticed about him were his coke’s bottle type glasses. I know I shouldn’t be talking like that; I also wear specs, not coke’s bottle type though. But I was only nine then and had never seen someone wearing such glasses.

It was my real Chacha’s wedding, that means flocking around of every possible relative from every possible corner. That was my first ever family function and I had never seen so many people together under one roof. Most of the faces were new to me and when I would touch their feet they would say “ arey itni badi ho gayi? Did they expect to see me in diapers sucking thumb or what?

I remember we (me and my cousins, let’s say gang of girls) were sitting near stairs when Sonu Chacha arrived with his mom (Granny). He was looking goddamn funny in that monkey cap and of course his coke’s bottle specs and the saga of laughter started from then and there only .We simply got up and touched granny’s feet though most of us didn’t know who she was. “Baccho inka bhi pair choo lo, ye tumahre Chacha hai” (Touch his feet as well, he is your uncle”), said one of the uncles and then we simply burst into laughter. How can somebody who is just few years elder than us be our uncle. “ Chacha itne chote thode naa hote hai” ( Uncles are not this young), I said. At this he said “ Ek chacha pet me hai’ ( there is one more uncle inside tummy).

I simply went to granny (his mom) asked if she is really pregnant. Granny, who was sitting in a Sangeet was certainly shocked to hear that and asked who told me this. I said” Sonu Chacha said that there is one more chacha inside you” . She immediately got up from the Sangeet and started looking for Sonu Chacha only to beat him up. It was such a fun seeing him getting beaten. “Beta ab hum budhiya ho gaye hai ab humko baccha thode na hoga” ( I am an old lady now, I can’t produce kids), said granny after she finished her beating. “ Bahut Chugalkhor ho tum” ( Such a backbiter you are), he said stroking his wounded arm.

That was just the beginning of his comic acts. His conversion of hindi songs into Bhojpuri used to be rib tickling funny. Once he asked me “ pahada aata hai?” (Do you know tables) and I replied “ pahad to north me hai, kasie aayega” ( Hills are there in north, how can they come?).

And this incident is the icing on the cake. Once we were playing Silent kabbadii, he interrupted in the middle of the game and said”Hum bhi khelenge, tum baacchi log ek taraf or hum ek taraf, hum”( I would also play, you kiddies at one side and me at one). Since we were four in numbers, we asked him to take at least one more person in his team but he was Sonu Chacha, why would he listen to anything that makes sense.

“ Kasam Ganga maiya ki , bacchiyo ko hara doonga,”( swear on ganga maiya would beat these girls), I know that sounds too filmy, but that’s what he said. As he entered our side, we girls grabbed him from all the sides. One of us pulled his leg and made him fall on the floor and then happened something which he could have never imagined even in his wildest dream. We started removing his clothes. He was screaming for help but gang of girls got really naughty that afternoon. By god’s grace yet another uncle came around and Sonu Chacha pleaded” Arey bhaiya bachaaiiye hamara cheer haran ho raha haai”. He was left only with his under garments when that uncle of ours released him out of our clutch.

Yesterday, I came to know about his latest nautanki and probably the biggest nautanki. Nobody in our entire has ever dared to do what he did, running away with a girl. Well, I would have respected him for that, after all he is someone who stood for himself and broke this norm of arranged marriage. But no, that girl is his aunt’s daughter.

This is not the first time he ran away. Earlier he ran away to Mumbai to become actor. And yes, once we all united for some marriage in our village. He ran away from there also. Most hilarious was when his mom said “ Hamar agyakari putra” and that made us all chuckle. She would never say or hear a word against him. But that night she was really upset and said to my mom” I wish he was never born”.

I can go on and on with his stories, there are just so many and each of them is something we cherish and would remain in us till we are alive.

No matter what he does, we still love him for everything. He would always make us laugh but yes, what he did this time is something unexpected. We all pray to god to bless him with sound mind. Whatever, he would still remain our Sonu Chacha and his stories will always be discussed over the cup of tea or just anywhere and anytime.

YOU DECIDE THE TITLE

Moles are sexy

Sitting with a friend in a coffee shop. “Hey, you have got a mole on your cheek, Mallika sherawat style. I wish I had one too. Man that looks super sexy. And you have one on your lower lip too. Wow moles are sexy".

A winter back lying in his arms at his place.

One, two and three and four and that’s fifth and the one near your nose.

And how can I forget that one on your lower lip and the one on your upper lip too.

My god you have got total eleven moles on your face.

So, is it good or bad?

It’s sexy. I tell you, moles are sexy.

"What happened? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, nothing. Ya, moles are sexy". She said wiping away the tears.

And we talk of TERRORISM

26/11/08, Maximum city faced massive terror attacks. Many died, many injured. City that “never sleeps” came to a halt.

People came on road including our rich and famous with slogans like “Don’t worry about those who came by boat, worry about those who came by vote” .Then began the blame game and all those stupid remarks by politician. People became more AWARE and realized ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

While coming back from the university I came across a huge white canvas near Sahara building. People were writing messages with colorful markers in the remembrance of those who died in the attack. I was just standing and noticing people. Most of them wrote “ Rest in piece” and “you will be remembered”. I asked one stylish college going student that why she is writing this. She said “because I care and I am aware” . I asked another college student who was not so stylish the same. He replied “because everyone else is writing” . I was very much impressed with his answer.

Who knows what will become of that canvas. May be it would get washed and be reused for some another campaign, right? And yes, I didn’t write any message.

India is called “weak nation”, “soft target” and what not. One question we need to ask ourselves that is it only the TERRORISM we need to protect our nation from? Of course that is a big issue but what about hundreds of “internal terrorism” we are having within the country? What would a nation be called washed. But he clearly mentioned why.

We all took pledge to fight against terrorism, but don’t you think we should also stand for these children? Why cant we stand together and say ENOUGH if not weak, where 2 million children die every year from preventable infectious diseases? Now isn’t that worst than terrorism? Infant mortality rate in India is as high as 63 deaths per 1000 live births (means death after they are born). Most of the infants die after a month they are born, upto 47% of them die in the first weak itself

Life is not easy for those who manage to survive. One in every three malnourished children in the world lives in India.Malnutrition hinders further development. 50 percent of total childhood deaths are due to malnutrition only.

And how can we forget education? About 20% of children have never been to school. Condition of girls is even worst.

India might be one of the most terrorism affected countries but it is also the country which has got largest number of child labours. 12.6 million Children are engaged in hazardous industries.

And yes child trafficking, 40% of women sex worker enters into this before the age of 18.

Since children don’t make vote bank they don’t much interest our politicians. Yes there are several schemes for them, very true. But above statistics are also true.

But terrorism is much serious issue, right? Once I met a child in a village out side Lucknow. He said” We don’t get proper food, water is not clean. I would kill people with my gun once I grow up” He must be 5 or 6 years of age. Of course he was brainwashed but he clearly mentioned why.

We all took pledge to fight against terrorism, but don’t you think we should also stand for these children? Why cant we stand together and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH